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Ralphie-isms
from The Simpsons
- "Don't wory mr. Burns, I'm gonna cut out your liver bones."
- Ralph: "Mister Army man (Skinner), I miss my Reggie Rabbit."
Skinner: "Is that some sort of plush novelty?"
Ralph: "Yes ma'am."
Skinner: "Here's a scouring pad, that should do the trick."
Ralph: "It's cold and hurty."
- "I bent my Wookie."
- "Hi Lisa, we're gonna be in a pie."
- "Hi Supernintendo Chaumers!"
- "It tastes like burning."
- "Principal Skinner, I got car sick in your office"
- "I brought our assignment, Lisa. We have to read this....
Look, I drawed on mine.... Is this my house?"
- "Daddy says I'm this close to sleeping in the yard."
- Teacher: "Now for the lowest grade in the class"
Ralph: "She's gonna call my name!"
- "Miss Hoover, I superglued my ear to my sholder..."
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Well what in the world is that supposed to mean?!?!
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Yeah right, Bart's a vampire . . . . and beer kills brain cells
. . . . now let's go back to that . . . . building . . . . place
where our beds and t.v. . . . . is.
-- Homer Simpson
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"Ollie, I can't tell when I'm asleep"....
"I couldn't help it, I was dreaming I was awake,
and when I woke up, I found meself asleep."
--- Stan Laurel
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Steve Bello
on your junior year in EE:
"The classes are so hard. . . .
you just do your best,
. . . you fail. . .
. . . and then they curve it."
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. . . Then, with a most distressed look on his face, he
turned to Milo and gasped, "Would you kindly fetch me a
glass of water? I seem to have a touch of indigestion."
"Perhaps you've eaten too much too quickly," Milo
remarked sympathetically.
"Too much too quickly, too much too quickly,"
wheezed the uncomfortable bug, between gulps. "To be
sure, too much too quickly. I most certainly should
have eaten too little too slowly, or too much too
slowly, or too little too quickly, or taken all day
to eat nothing, or eaten everything in no time at all,
or occaisionally eaten something any time, or perhaps
I should have--" And he toppled back, exhausted, into
his chair and continued to mumble indistinctly.
-- The Humbug, from The Phantom Tollbooth
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"Give my ten men like Clouseau
and they'll
destroy the world!"
--Commissioner Dreyfus,
The Pink Panther:
A Shot in the Dark.
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. . . . [This question] is hard . . . .
. . . . well, it's not too hard . . . .
. . . . if you know the answer . . . .
-- Ed Char
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Krusty's Komedy Klassic
. . . KKK? uh-ohh. . .
. . . that's not good. . . .
--Krusty the Clown
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(--this was an actual radio commercial slogan--)
". . . . when your car gets as old as your house
you gotta see Kraus! . . . ."
(--for those of you who didn't get it, unless your
car and house are the same age, your car will never
be as old as your house. If your car is 18, years
old and your house is 19, next year your car will
be 19 and your house 20! Sounds like an ad
discouraging their buisness! Good one!!--)
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"Jannssonn* is one of those teachers that
you hate while you're taking the course,
but by the end of the semester, you have
to admit that you've learned something....
well... theoretically..."
--Steve
*the individual's name was changed.
(anyone who has had this teacher
will immediately recognize the humor!!)
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Tremendous Internship Opportunities for Students With
Disabilities in Science, Engineering, Mathematics and Computer
Science!
-- Do you have a disability
in math? You can get a job here!! I saw
this in the hall at school it's an advertisement
for job opportunities, but obviously someone
needs some work in communication skills!!
(it was meant to be for students with
physical disabilities, not mental,
as it implies!!)
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Moe: "Garage... Garage... Well, if it
ain't
mista fancy-pants Frenchman....!"
Homer: "Why, what do you call it, Moe?"
Moe: "A car-hole !"
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